So I started skyping my boyfriend Greg on the east coast because he was all "Hey baby, can we talk? I miss you!"
So we're talking and I'm lying down trying to stay awake because I took an anxiety drug AND two ibuprofen PM's because I want to be un-anxious and also tired (because sleepy drugs are awesome. And I WAS tired, but now I feel kind of awake and mostly annoyed so I think I powered through the sleep part of the pill. Oops.) and I was going on and on about how I was cranky and then Greg was all, "I wish I were there with you!"
To which I replied, "Well, if you were here, I'D JUST HIT YOU!"
And he said, "....like, how hard?"
and I yelled, "REALLY HARD."
"So, I'd have bruises?" (this is not going in a sexy direction, although someone who is into S & M might think so.)
And I said, "YES!"
And Greg said, "Well, that's domestic abuse, babe." And I said I DIDN'T CARE and I WANTED to be arrested anyway. I don't know why I said I wanted to be arrested, but in the moment I REALLY REALLY DID. Maybe because tonight when I was watching a clip of Mad Love, that new show with that annoying blonde girl from How I Met Your Mother and Scrubs, she said that inmates usually read a book a week and that sounds really awesome right now so I thought I might as well get arrested so the reading can commence.
So then Greg sighed all softly and smiled and said, "Well, at least you'd be touching me if you were hitting me!" and he smiled all annoyingly and grossly into the screen like this:
I added hearts over where his eyes are. Also, don't I look pretty?!?!?!
I told him he was disgusting.
THEN I made him re-make the face he was making three times (because the first two times he didn't do it right) so that I could post it on this blog and do something funny to it like add hearts in photoshop, and once I got the perfect shot that looked like the original face I told him he did a good job and he replied, "Well thanks baby, I couldn't have done it without you." AND HE MADE THE ANNOYING LOVEY FACE AGAIN!
And I said, "Why are you trying to suck up to me and make me happy???!?!?!?!" and he asked if that was a bad thing because he didn't think it was? And I said that YES IT WAS A BAD THING.
So then he smiled and said he missed me and I said I didn't care and that I hated EVERYONE all of my friends and ALL of my family because I AM CRANKY and I hated HIM THE MOST and he just made that face at me again and then I told him to hold on because I needed to make a blog post about him.
And then I did.
And actually making the hearts over his eyes was the best thing I've done in the past three hours and made me laugh out loud so I guess he did kind of make me a little less cranky even though he didn't mean to and it was just because hearts-under-his-hairy-eyebrows look hilarious.
I think I should win the best girlfriend ever award. Nominate me, won't you? :)